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Balliol College, Oxford
Prior to sudden death it’s believed that your whole life briefly flashes before your eyes. Prior to death by cancer it is somewhat similar, except that you have time to write some of it down.
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John Radcliffe
"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less" - Marie Curie
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Happy Birthday
"For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday" - John Glenn
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How to Point and Laugh at Irrational Nonsense
"Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions." - Thomas Jefferson
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Diagnosis
"The NHS is the closest thing the English have to a religion." - Nigel Lawson
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Alien Abductions and Cystoscopies
"For me, science is already fantastical enough. Unlocking the secrets of nature with fundamental physics or cosmology or astrobiology leads you into a wonderland compared with which beliefs in things like alien abductions pale into insignificance." - Paul Davies
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Merry Christmas
"1. Santa Claus is real. However, your parents are folkloric constructs meant to protect and fortify children against the darknesses of the real world. They are symbols representing the return of the sun and the end of winter, the sacrifice of the king and the eternal fecundity of the queen. They wear traditional vestments and are associated with certain seasonal plants, animals, and foods. After a certain age, no intelligent child continues believing in their parents, and it is embarrassing when one professes such faith after puberty. Santa Claus, however, will never fail us." - Catherynne M. Valente
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Radical Laparoscopic Nephrectomy
"It's so important that people know there was a time before the NHS. It makes them appreciate it more." - Miriam Margolyes
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New Year's Eve Micturitions
"It is easier to stay out than get out." - Mark Twain
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Stanley Kubrick and Dad's Army
"Hence the ways of men part: if you wish to strive for peace of soul and pleasure, then believe; if you wish to be a devotee of truth, then inquire" - Fredrich Nietzche
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The Vinyl Countdown
"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain." - Bob Marley
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A New Job and a New Hope
"I believe everyone should have a broad picture of how the universe operates and our place in it. It is a basic human desire. And it also puts our worries in perspective." - Stephen Hawking
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The Wayfarer's Walk With One Kidney - Part 1
"Got no time to for spreadin' roots, The time has come to be gone. And to' our health we drank a thousand times, it's time to Ramble On." - Robert Plant
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Durham Regatta and the Pros and Cons of Head-banging
"If you have never been to Durham, go there at once. Take my car. It's wonderful." - Bill Bryson
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Buggering Arseholes
"He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot." - Douglas Adams
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Put Your Affairs in Order
"I see no God up here." - Yuri Gagarin
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The Ladybird Book of Tedious Oncological Platitudes
"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it." - Terry Pratchett
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Clinical Trial
"Doctors and patients need as much data as possible to make an informed decision about what treatment is best." - Ben Goldacre
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Chemotherapy Week 1
"Chemotherapy isn't good for you. So when you feel bad, as I am feeling now, you think, 'Well that is a good thing because it's supposed to be poison. If it's making the tumour feel this queasy, then I'm OK with it" - Christopher Hitchens
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Salisbury General Again
"As an atheist, I think there are lots of things religions get up to which are of value to non-believers - and one of those things is trying to be a bit better than we normally manage to be." - Alain de Botton
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The S.O.S. Club
"And I am not frightened of dying. Any time will do, I don't mind. Why should I be frightened of dying? There's no reason for it. You've got to go sometime." - Gerry o'Driscoll (Abbey Road Studios Doorman)
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Have You Emptied Your Bowels This Morning, Mr. Jago?
"There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer." - Robin Williams
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The Visitors
"I get by with a little help from my friends." - Ringo Starr
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iPhone 7 Plus 256gb
"We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology." - Carl Sagan
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The Wayfarer's Walk With One Kidney - Part 2
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool." - Richard P. Feynman
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Conference Season
"When it comes to the pinch, human beings are heroic." - George Orwell
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Drumsticks
"The band is just fantastic, that is really what I think, Oh, and by the way, which one's Pink?" - Roger Waters
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The University Grand Tour
"If you ever have a kid who doesn't know what to do, stick him in art school. It's amazing what evolves." - Ridley Scott
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Lung Drain #1
"I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarius and we're skeptical." - Arthur C. Clarke
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Some Thoughts on Death
"It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
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A Wee Dram on the Beach
"I know people sometimes have this fantasy about Cornwall. But the Cornish are so grounded." - Tori Amos
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Whitby Wheezing
"Breathless, we flung us on a windy hill, laughed in the sun, and kissed the lovely grass." - Rupert Brooke
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Lung Drain #2
"I wouldn't be here today if it were not for the NHS. I have received a large amount of high-quality treatment without which I would not have survived." - Stephen Hawking
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Lindisfarne
"Let there be bass." - Leo Fender
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Lung Drain #3 and Pleurodesis
"Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore." - Alan Bennett
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Immunotherapy Treatment
"When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear." - Mark Twain
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Radiotherapy Treatment
"No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die." - Auric Goldfinger
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You Lucky, Lucky Bastard
"Manacles! Ooh oooh oh oh. My idea of heaven is to be allowed to be put in manacles... just for a few hours. ..... They must think the sun shines out o' your arse, sonny." - Ben the Prisoner
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Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll
"Sex and drugs and rock and roll, is all my brain and body need, Sex and drugs and rock and roll, are very very good indeed." - IanDury
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Happiness and Concordant Coastlines
"Happiness can exist only in acceptance." - George Orwell
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In Which I Miraculously Get Up Out Of My Wheelchair and Shake Hands with Scrooge McDuck
"My eyes were half open, But we didn't see him there, Put the car back in my pocket, And I'm still here in my chair." - Francis Rossi
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Come in Number 51 (Your Time is Up)
"And they were singing bye, bye, Miss American Pie. Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry. And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey 'n rye. Singin' this'll be the day that I die. This'll be the day that I die." - Don Mclean
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We're Going on a Cancer Hunt
"We’re Going to Catch a Big One. What a Beautiful Day! We’re Not Scared." - Michael Rosen
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What Has Cancer Ever Done For Me?
"Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it." - Eric Idle
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Now What?
"I don't expect to live forever, but I do intend to hang on as long as possible." - Isaac Asimov
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Just Say Yes
"I don't do drugs, I am drugs" - Salvador Dali
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Graduation Thread
"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." - Nelson Mandela
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The 10 Best Decisions I have Made in My Life
"My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me." - Winston Churchill
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Celebrity Cancer Deaths
"If the sky turned to stone, it will matter not at all, for there is no heaven in the sky, Hell does not wait for our downfall." - Lemmy
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Sunday Morning in December
"I've always liked speed. I own a car that I shouldn't be talking about because I'm an environmentalist, but the 1955 Porsche Spyder 550 RS is the finest sports car ever made." - Robert Redford
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Wilbert, Cara, Jasper and Stanley
"When there are dogs and music, people have a good time." - Emmylou Harris
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Awfully Sorry For Whinging, But...
"I am a practical person. I'm not too bad a carpenter. I can renovate houses." - Jordan Peterson
